THE REPLACEMENT WRITER
*Ahem* Me wright gooder.
Erm, no. *Hack* I can do this! I can write. My name and everything. Who’s a good writer! I am!
Yeah, uh, so, like the regular writer of this blog, like went on strike and stuff. So, I’m fillin’ in God help me. It’ll be fun. God help you.
All right, so, first, I want to thank Phil Bill for letting me phil fill in. Not that he had a choice. Blog Central Office locked him out. Sucks for him. He had a large coffee and the bathroom is in here.
Anyway, in today’s
fog blog entry, we’re gonna clear up a few misconceptions, falsities and lies that have crept up around the blog. We might not be the regular blogger, but we can do this quickly and suck succinctly. Plain, straight-forward talk. Me hate elitist, oh-so-cool text language. Oh, they’re all “u” this and “I h8 that.” and “deoxyribonucleic acid is the key to life-giving medical treatments if only we provide the proper funding to the National Institutes of Health. Yo.”
So here we go: *checks time*. Yeah. Now.
It was this blog that first convinced Hugh Jackman he could do action films AND musical theatre.
The blog is confident that John Kerry will win the November presidential election.
Keira Knightley really needs to stop sending me her underwear.
That never happened.
Yes, it did.
*Shuffles some papers*
We’re still checking the records on that.
Fish tacos and Ben ‘n’ Jerry’s Phish ice cream do not, in fact, play well together.
lkdfldkkjewp-09039ucm DAMMIT, CAT! GET OFF THE KEYBOARD!
Even after all this time, we still still can’t figure out of the classic TV series “Twin Peaks” was intentionally mello-dramatic, poorly acted, or both.
Okay, that’s it. Good blog piece today, guys. Let’s…oh. There’s more? Sorry.
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Pick up dry-cleaning
A lonely blue marble rolls hither and yon across the marble expanse of the universe. A ceaseless quest for knowledge. For life. For connection. Where will it stop? Will it ever stop? If it does, what does that mean? The marble is a sphere. We are all the sphere.
Embrace your roundness. Be the sphere.
Woo! Nailed it!
Yeah. I want the other guy back too.