SIR MIX-A-LOT OF CIDER
So, like, I don’t mean to brag. I’m not all pretentious and self-important, stamping my name all over stuff, blogging about my great insights like a…oh. Right. Never mind.
Anyway, I have to bend the humble-bumble rule for just a moment to share something very cool.
I just brewed my first batch of hard cider.
I’m a brew master now.
Brewmasters are cool.
I know. I know. In the world of functional society with people and stuff, home-brewers are right up there with model train enthusiasts and Doctor Who fans on the coolness Richter scale. (If you caught the familiar locution above, though, you are a Doctor Who fan, so stop feeling so smug RIGHT NOW. *Self-righteous waiting* What? Fine. I’ll translate. The current incarnation of the hero of Doctor Who, The Doctor, wears bowties and likes to say, “I wear a bow tie now. Bow ties are cool.”…It’s funnier when you see it. Really. Go watch the show.)
Anyway, I brewed a batch of hard cider and I am inordinately excited about it. I will climb back into my modesty straight-jacket for just a moment to fully disclose that this is sort of a cheater’s brew. It’s not like I pored over a steaming cauldron, carefully calibrating the yeast and the water and the apple cider mixture just so…the reality is, I got a kit from my in-laws for Christmas that contained a plastic keg and all the ready-made ingredients. All I had to do was follow the directions. Sanitize the keg with the stuff they give you. Boil this much water. Add the mixture, pour the “must” into the keg, add the yeast. Voila!
Now the keg is sitting in my basement laundry room fermenting. In a week or so, it might be cider ready for bottling. Or it might be crap. I’m guessing it will be a just okay, pre-fab, brewed cider.
But that’s okay. No matter how it tastes, it’ll be GREAT crap. My crap! (Okay,that sounds icky.) I’ll love it (if I don’t get sick or something) because I made it myself (from a kit – shut up, Debbie Downer!) I don’t have many typical guy skills – I know nothing about cars and am lost with any home repair more complicated than painting a room (which I’m decent at). So now, maybe, I have a typically guy activity I can do around the house. And I like that.
Also, it involves drinking. So, there’s that.
When I get to the bottling stage, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, if anyone wants to give a shout out for their favorite brewing stories or other hobbies of which they are proud and which are legal in most states, you know where to comment. And if you want to mock me endlessly for my geek-dom, well, I know how to delete you. (Kidding…Maybe.)