williamallenpepper

Here's a blog because NOBODY else has one!

I’VE BEEN GOOGLED…AND I LIKE IT

So, the other day, I was driving along in my automobile. Just tooling down the street, minding my own business, when ALL OF A SUDDEN…

Sasquatch crossed the road on the way to Subway.

No.

A busload of space alien tourists stopped me to ask directions and ended up taking me aboard their space ship and back to their home planet where I was forced to breed a whole new wretched human-alien hybrid race with which they will eventually conquer the Earth. But, on the upside, they had ALL THE BACON I COULD EAT.

No, that’s not eat.

Actually, all that happened was that my car was approached in the opposite lane by THE GOOGLE MAPS CAR!

Way better than horny alien sasquatch, right?

It was unmistakable: a little white, bug-like vehicle with day-glo markings and a camera mounted on top. I don’t know if Michael Bluth was driving. (That’s for you, Arrested Development nerds.)

I might be on a satellite feed somewhere! Sure, the NSA is reading my email and they can see me naked at the airport whenever they want (twice on Saturdays), but this is way more cool than those privacy invasions.

It blew Navin Johnson when the new phonebooks arrived (“The phonebooks are here! The phonebooks are here! I’m somebody!”). This was my Navin Johnson moment.

Thanks, Google car.

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