PRO SPORTS REALLY HATES YOU
Lying about steroids.
Rampant concussions and crippling injuries
Murderers. Druggies. Dudes who get hundreds of millions of dollars.
To play a game.
The average cost for a family of four to go to a professional baseball game, eat snacks and get a program, is about $340. For a football game, it’s $450.
That’s one game.
All of this and much, much more can be found in professional sports.
But maybe, in your minds, there’s still a chance that the powers-that-be in professional don’t just totally hate your guts, your ancestors’ guts and the guts of every living thing that might conceivably ever have a genetic connection to you including the half-human, half-sea-horse, psychic living pasta makers into which our entire race will eventually evolve.
(We will so. I totally watch the Discovery Channel. I know stuff.)
So maybe, you hold out hope. Well, consider this friends.
This year, the National Football League has instituted a new policy they’re calling “All Clear.” Apparently, for security reasons, which as far as I can tell means “we want to make sure you only buy your eight dollar hot dogs at our concessions”, you can no longer bring bags and seat cushions into the stadium with you unless they are “clear.” If your purse or whatever isn’t see through, it isn’t coming in.
Now, now, stop throwing stuff. To be fair, the NFL does want to help you out. If you don’t have a clear bag, they will happily sell you one. With a team logo on it.
So, yeah, it’s not really a “clear” bag, is it?
Meanwhile, over at professional baseball, where we’re pretty sure there’s still a Yankee game started in 1972 still going on, they’ve hit upon a way to make the typical game last even longer.
Expanded use of the instant replay.
Because, I guess, they needed a way to slow down the frenetic action of a baseball game to a pace slower than, I dunno, continental drift.
I’m falling asleep just writing about baseball and instant replay.
I get that the flow of big money isn’t unique to professional sports. I get that desire to overlook bad behavior because of (1) that big money and (2) we’re entertained isn’t unique to professional sports either. Hello, Hollywood.
BUT, among the purveyors of sport, there seems to be a special kind of contempt for the people who support the teams. I don’t need to take out a loan to see a movie. I don’t need a clear bag to watch my favorite show. Athletics and competition and sportsmanship have so much to offer for the betterment of people. But I have trouble looking past all the crap in professional sports to see it. That may be flaw in my character.
But I’m pretty sure it’s not me with the flaw.