williamallenpepper

Here's a blog because NOBODY else has one!

IF I HAD A DOLLAR, I’D RENT ME A CHICKEN

Alert readers of this blog – greetings to the four of you – will remember that I brought you the vital consumer news that you could rent a goat to trim your lawn. Well, now, not to be outdone, people are breakin’ out the poultry.

Phil and Jean Thompkins of Pennsylvania have started “Rent the Chicken”, a company that will give you egg-laying hens, coops, food and water dish for the summer. Their’s is one of several companies throughout Pennsylvania, Massachusetts, Michigan and Maryland. It’s $3.5 billion industry.

And that ain’t chicken feed.

HA! That’s humor worthy of a …well, worthy of a free blog.

Anyway, for some people, buying organic or even buying local isn’t enough. They want to grow their own food, and not just potatoes and corn. Why not harvest your own eggs? If I could find someone to rent me a pizza bush or a French silk pie tree, I’d never set foot in a grocery store again.

Or how about renting out sheep for wool? Or alpacas? Or cute little polyester guppies?

We could bring back St. Bernards with casks of whiskey on the collars. Maybe expand the offerings to include a nice merlot. And some cookies.

I like cookies.

Yes, I eat them with my wine. No judging.

Sometimes ice cream too.

And if I had a rented egg-laying hen, I might enjoy a nice Shiraz with my omelette.

Anyway, how great would it be if the means of production for all these things – like, say, a vat of grapes and a barefoot person to stomp them for me so I could make wine – could be delivered to my home?

Sure, my nightly beverage will taste like toe jam (oh, like you don’t know what that tastes like), but I MADE IT MYSELF. No more liquor store! One more way to avoid icky human interaction.

And, really, isn’t that what it’s all about?*

*No. No, it’s not.**

**But we can dream.

Advertisements

Single Post Navigation

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: