I HAVE QUESTIONS
Do you wonder about things? Anything at all?
That’s a dumb question. Are you at least wondering about why I would ask such a stupid question?
I wonder about a lot of things. Serious issues of life and politics and commerce. Funny things like the enduring appeal (to me and more than a few others) of Laurel & Hardy or why Conan O’Brien didn’t work on The Tonight Show at 10:30 central, but does fine at 10 central on TBS.
But mostly, I wonder odd things.
My family likes that I’m on Twitter, @carnivalofglee, because I can subject the Internet to my random thoughts rather than them. To give you an idea what suffering my family occasionally, and the Internet multiple times daily, here’s a peek inside my brain. Brush away the cobwebs and assorted old Archie comics and Dave Barry columns if you must, but do NOT kick the troll out of his barcalounger. He gets pissed. You do not want to have to deal with a pissed brain troll.
Anyway, here’s what’s in my head much of the time:
Why does pizza with a round crust taste better than rectangular?
Why do sandwiches cut into triangles taste better than rectangular ones?
Buffalo wings are chicken, with absolutely no relation to buffalo. Similarly, elephant ears are not what they seem.
Why do I enjoy Superman less than when I was a kid, but enjoy Spider-Man a lot more than when I was a kid?
Why wasn’t Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip a better show?
Why don’t time travelers got sick from all the diseases they’re exposed to in other eras and/or infect the people with unaccustomed diseases?
If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
The necktie is a stupid idea. So why does it really look good?
Was my friend Robert right years ago when he predicted the end of the writing as a form of communication?
Is choosing to cut strangers’ hair as odd a career choice as I think it is?
Why is wearing team colors, debating sports stats with your friends, and setting aside the afternoon to cheer your team on considered less nerdy than wearing a t-shirt of your favorite character or show, debating plots and stats with your friends, and being excited to watch your favorite show?
There’s not a movie made that couldn’t be improved by the addition of Tim Curry.
How the hell do people who spend weekends binging entire seasons of TV shows find the time?
Sure, the Twilight series was popular, as was Hunger Games, but will another book series ever capture young readers’ attention the way Harry Potter did?
So there’s a wee sampling of the dross flossing my brain daily. Clearly, I need help. Also cash. And a donut.